Scott D Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 Impress your teammates and make your rivals afraid by telling jokes while hillclimbing Heres one to get you started. A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pond of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his boss won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lions say "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triking Dave Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 I know a similar story, mine involves "snake, chimps & bees". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fatblokeonbike Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 I've only just got over that, Scott. Oh, dear me... The whole family's been subjected to it. The weans loved it! Then there was the story about the French student of languages who came across to Britain to polish up his English. He was having trouble with some of the pronunciation - getting used to the difference between words like dough, through, rough, bough, although, trough, plough, cough - all that kind of stuff. But he persevered, until one day he was walking past a theatre where the Royal Shakespeare Company were playing, and looking up, he saw on the billboard - "Hamlet pronounced success". So he gave up and went home. . Boom, boom! Yoooors, Iain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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