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HI all, swithered over posting this at fear of being a bit ostentatious but lately find being open and honest having a cathartic effect and don't want to just disappear into the ether. I won't be rejoining or out on club runs anymore as I have been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Still to start chemo but the future does not look too bright in terms of time left and quality of life and just really hoping for a year covid free in the camper van and have just ordered gravel e-bike so trying to meet it head on. Bit ironic to be hit with this as just really got mentally over having cancer when I was 8 following some counselling early this year - this kind of explains my somewhat distant nature and always being on the periphery of things. As George said recently if you need help get help just talking about things can really help. Anyways enjoy life, free yourself from power meters and just ride your bikes. A final request I have found looking at photos of happier times helps so if anybody has any photos of trips which feature me I would be grateful if you could send to [email protected] as I would like to create some photo books for when I am no longer around.