24-Hour-ing - Part III

by Dave Stokes

9:45 p.m. Friday - Dave was snugly tucked up in bed.

11.45 p.m. Friday - Simon was finishing fitting his mudguards... had not brought enough bolts... and had brought the wrong length stays...

12.15 a.m. Saturday - Simon came up with the following riddle:

Question: "What's worse than sharing a bed with a bloke who snores?"
Answer: "Sharing a hut with a dozen blokes who snore..."
At least you can kick one onto his side!

Actually Campbell warned Simon that he had a reputation, but in fact it was two lads from VC167 who kept up a duet most of the night... So at 12.15 he went with his bag and Thermarest to sleep in the car.

5:15 a.m. - It was clear that the forecast had delivered that South-Westerly as promised... well I suppose a North-Westerly would have been worse... Overcast skies and rain had also been reliably forecast. The usual pre-event chat of "I've not done many miles / I've got a bit of cold" etc, etc, was interspersed with "The forecast is for an Easterly on the way back tomorrow," and "I wonder when Gethin will get back?" And... Campbell was smothering himself with factor 50 sun block. - Campbell - Why?

So off we went, Campbell headed off in the front group, Simon sat in the next group until dropped after the first control at Kelty (13 miles) and Dave started a lonely ride at the back quietly singing "Hearts and Flowers" to himself. After about 10 miles, Gethin Butler came zooming past the tail-enders with a cheery wave and encouraging word having apparently given himself a handicap. When he caught Steve Abraham (riding 53 x 17, fixed) the latter jumped on his wheel and a little later Simon pounced on Steve’s wheel. The train picked up some others who had been ahead and climbed over to Gleneagles, onto Creiff and then over the Sma' Glen to Aberfeldy (65 miles)... by this time no Gethin.

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After a bacon roll and a tea Simon headed off as a regrouped second gang which worked well along the Aberfeldy-Loch Tay-Killin-Crianlarich 36-mile stretch which was against that wind we had all been dreading. Thanks once again to VC167, this time for good organisation (snoring apparently forgottten). So, a hundred miles under their belts by midday they set off but just couldn't organise a group... some were tired... some wanted jackets... but it wasn't working. By the time Dave arrived at Aberfeldy, both Simon and Campbell had gone, and there was yet another interminable wait for coffee and a bun, fortunately he had an insulated bottle and threw the coffee into that then popped into the Spar next door for some juice to refill the other bottle when it was exhausted.

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Shortly after Aberfeldy, Dave was attacked by a large animal with antlers - well, it jumped into the road a few yards in front of him, took one look and then fled for its life! After a mile, this sign was spotted. I guess it would be more useful to site the sign before the animal so that it could act as a warning, but it was pleasing to be able to identify the animal as a red squirrel.
There was no warning sign about the field mouse that tried to get itself run over.

By the climb over Rannoch, the riders had strung out although a freak tailwind over into Glencoe (What tail wind? - Dave didn’t feel it! Had to pedal the whole way down!) brought us, still all in good fettle, to the midge-encrusted cafe in Glencoe village (137 miles).

Descent into Glen Coe - the dilemma at this point is not the 237 remaining hilly miles or 85 flattish ones back on the A82 to Glasgow but exactly when to leave Glencoe to get the ferry at Corran? Rolling down the slip as it pulls away means a half hour wait until the next one... Jimmy Noon ("Do not forsake me"), manning the control reckoned on allowing 30 minutes, giving about 5 to spare... he was about right. One poor bugger missed the last ferry and had to swim!

The ferry has the effect of producing groups of similar ability (it’s a sampling effect well known to designers of digitised control systems), but the roller-coaster ride round Ardnamurchan to Archaracle (170 miles) caused the groups to whittle down to twos and threes (or in Dave’s case, ones - still humming "Hearts and Flowers") as fatigue set in.

When the route turned back Eastward towards Fort William there was no head-wind... precisely the conditions favoured by the midges. Normally the phenomenon known as "land and sea breezes" (remember your geography from school?) means that the wind reverses at this point should blow the little blighters out onto the Atlantic where they belong... It didn’t.

All the way down to Ballachulish (232 miles) and onto Benderloch (256 miles) was calm. That meant 120 miles of carnivorous insects. I’ve looked up one of the words used to describe the creatures and it means that they have an unnatural interest in sheep - but, quite frankly, I think this to be unlikely. Mind you, I have not yet found out how they manage to set up strong colonies inside Lycra shorts with elasticated waist and legs. They also manage a mass invasion of one’s scalp; concentrating on scratching excruciating itches underneath one’s helmet while free-wheeling downhill is not conducive to safety.

At Benderloch, Simon felt sleep was in order... Well, he spent four hours there, much of it cursing the people who arrived, took 2 blankets each and snored 'til 4:00... So about 5:30 he crawled out into the wind awaiting just around the corner at Connel Bridge... this bridge has a cycle path along it that has a 6-inch drop down onto the road, this is of particular interest because it is almost exactly the same width as Dave’s trike.

From then on it was survival... Simon’s sit bones were forcing through flesh and any rise was welcomed as an excuse to stand up and get the weight off them... never... ever... ever put on a saddle for 600k when you've only done 60 on it before (BIG LESSON). Campbell and Dave, by contrast, both had very comfortable saddles.

Simon had a low spot around the Kincardine bridge where he felt sick. He was riding with Graham Mair of Edinburgh Road Club (that would make me sick, he stole my comp. record), who had a chum of his meet him en route at Stirling which was great as he had fresh legs... tho' it's best to have a big guy like Al Sutton of Elgin CC to sit behind at this point when the Easterly calls... About here, Dave joined up with Bruce Lees (wasn’t he in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"?) he had stopped at Ballachulish with the bottom bracket on his fixed wheel machine held on with two spanners and a bunch of zip ties (never go anywhere without zip ties), and begged, borrowed or stole a bike to finish the audax. The bike appeared to be of pre-war design (nothing wrong with that) but did not seem to have seen any oil since then. If Simon thought the VC162 club snore-in was loud, he should have heard Bruce’s chain.

Finally Dalmeny... changed call home... drive... Simon had to stop and sleep for 30 mins at A72 junction as he was having little patches of being unaware of the last few seconds...

Home safely ... food... bath... food... more food... sleep... dream about food... heaven.

Monday morning, those of us with new saddles were a wee bit raw straddling the bike... actually a big bit sore... but the pain faded after a few days.

Simon says, "All in all apart from the Connel to Tyndrum section the wind could have been much worse and it only rained a few times." Dave must have been riding a different event, it poured down on him all night!

Bikes - For those who care, Gethin Butler rode on a steel Hewitt frame, ordinary wheel, a rear tyre that was at least a 25... down-tube shifters, an 8-speed 105 rear mech. and old Ultegra (the early 90's ones with the sort grey blue finish), no tri-bars no rack, no long curvy silver bits to keep your bum dry... he said at the finish that he wished he'd used a bike with long curvy silver bits. - Conclusion: it's legs and lungs sadly for most of us.

Gears - Simon used 52, 38 on the front and 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23, 26, 32 rear, used every one. In inches, that’s a top gear 108 inches and a bottom of roughly 30. That was fine but there were many, many more times he wanted a lower gear than a higher one. His bike was a Raleigh cheapo Titanium weighing 23lbs (that sounds better than Dave’s best racing bike) before bag, clothes, food and water... The saddle was a nightmare!

 
Dave used a trike (Longstaff - expensive), probably weighs in at over 30lbs in racing trim, with tyres that puncture (and ride) like solid tyres. Gears were 46, 36, 26 by 15, 16, 17, 20, 24, 28, only used the biggest three sprockets but didn’t need anything lower, so the used gear range was 27" to 62". Saddle cost £15 from Halfords and was fine but unfortunately, like the unicorn, is a discontinued line.
 
(Left)  A tyred but happy trike after the ride.
 
 
 
Campbell’s contribution to this report follows, verbatim; he has obviously read half of Fowler’s "Usage and Abusage of the English Language". We felt that you would all like to savour its fluent and precise nature:

"I think the hole event was great it must be the best 600 in Briton I ended up riding the event with Dick and less that I rood the 400 with but the only think that went wrong was Dick got a flat on the way from Ballachulish. the midges must get a mention as my legs are at the itchier stage. My weather was not to bad but it was quit cold at times The food was supper and the service to. I completed another 608KM Audax the daylight 600 in 31hours 57minits. Simon and Dave were still on the road by the time I left the first man back was Getin Butler in 26hrs he is the end to end record holder. I was more than pleased with the ride as it was 2hr faster and a harder course than last weeks 600. Audax riders of the future it will be 2005 the next time this won is run make sour your on it its a cracker."

DaveTheTrike